The wife, the good, bad, and ugly.

A good wife is a blessing to the family. A devoted, honest, trustworthy and loving wife holds the family together.

A good wife can be you! You may not see yourself as such, but to your family and husband, you are. Oh, how many women are tormented because they hear those voices in their mind, that they are not doing a great job. Oh, but you are, and by whom are you comparing yourself to? Whose standards are you using to measure your ability or to gauge your parenting actions?

As the wife, you manage the home affairs of the family and your desire is for your family and spouse to prosper, you try to make sure all debts are paid, and they are feed, educated, and as happy they can be in their well-being. You maintain the home and that home is comfortable and they are satisfied. The wife finds her identity in what she does and is proud of what she and her husband have built together, their family. She has taken care of her household with great admiration and as she is trusted by her husband, who is the provider and tower of strength in the family unit. She gives her husband honor and respect.

The wise woman builds her house. But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

A family can be brought to ruins by a careless foolish wife, as well as an irresponsible husband. A foolish woman, that has no fear of God nor cares that her family crumbles and can destroy the family as a whole. A careless uncaring wife leads her children into a path of destruction and emotional disaster. He husband becomes angry, and bitterness begins to set in towards the wife. A foolish wife has no concerns for the well-being of the family nor her husband. So, what is a foolish wife really mean? The word Foolish means, a person who is silly or senseless, and when you do something foolish, it’s clearly unwise or irrational.  Can a foolish per have destructive ways? Of course… Can a foolish person have emotional baggage? Of course… Can a foolish wife be senseless in her ways? Of course…

Is the foolish woman stupid, ignorant, hateful, or simply possessed?

How can a foolish woman be so malicious and ignorant? This foolish woman has emotional baggage and is not in the habit of thinking rationally. She does love but is unable to process love properly. The foolish woman can be one who has had everything in life and wants everything her way. Control is a strong factor in her life. While another foolish wife can be one who is obsessive and compulsive. When an opportunity comes, she reaches for that open door to accomplish what’s been in her mind. No notice or planning is done… it just opens doors of opportunity.

While many men have their own foolish ways, I’ll discuss that in another blog article.

How can we detect issues that explains irrational behavior?

• Money Issues: A good wife will usually sacrifice her needs for her family and spouse. She will get things for herself but she will budget herself not brings a strain on their finances. However, a foolish wife spends all the money on herself because she desires it. She will lack consideration for others and her own family.
• Trust Issues: A good wife will trust her spouse because he hasn’t given her a reason not to. A wife who has trust issues will never take their actions likely. Many say, we shouldn’t have total trust in the spouse, but isn’t that an emotional torment not to trust? They are always gauging the spouse in all they do. This alone is an emotional strain and the fights are often between them.
• Control: A good wife knows that she and her spouse are both in control of their livelihood and outings. They decide together on what is best for their own family. A foolish wife will offer different activities or plans for an upcoming event changing the plans the husband was suggested or made arrangements for. The foolish wife will have opposition for every suggestion.
• Obsessive: A good wife will trust and rule alongside her husband and together they can accomplish a lot. A foolish wife keeps silent, and she is continuously doing something in the house to release her emotions and frustrations. She is always busy at home cleaning because if you want something done right, you got to do it yourself. At the same time, she avoids conversations with other family members including her husband avoiding the reality of their unhappiness. This is pure frustration to the max. They are simply consumed by keeping their home germ-free and very clean.
• Abuse: As a young girl, she is raised to provide and assist in the home. They are not allowed to play or get involved in activities outside the home, they are not allowed to express themselves because it’s not nice to speak up or question authority. They grow up serving, helping, and denying themselves constantly because they have to be a good girl. This causes a woman to become defensive. They feel that they can not express themselves nor voice their own needs. This affects the wife and many fall into the hands of abusive husbands who treat them less of a person. Under these conditions, the wife should seek help. They could be in danger. However, a wife who has this type of background is angry, bitter, unhappy, and sees herself unworthy because she is female. Sometimes, she is in competition with the spouse and tries to prove she can be just as strong as any man.
• Gossip: Women who feel neglected and unloved turns to seek attention and friends. She provides information or hearsay to strike a conversation. They usually seek someone else who may have the same desire to talk. They begin a tight-knit friendship, which will most likely bring division into her relationships. Thus, putting the spouse and family in a conflicting home environment.

How can all this be fixed?

Well, the foolish wife must deal with her emotional baggage… She needs to acknowledge she is not doing very well internally in her heart, and that her life or her family is becoming emotionally strained and falling apart.

To begin with, counseling is always available, but for whatever reason, a person may not seek counsel, then they can do the following to break their pattern of destruction by accountability with the spouse and with God.

• Analyze motives
• Challenge thoughts
• Deal with a broken heart
• Forgive
• Learn to trust
• Lean on faith
• Need to pray
• Trust and believe in God
• Believe God as the source and foundation

There are answers to every problem, but dealing with emotional issues from childhood can be dealt with. A person must desire to understand why and change. Changing is good for that person and for the betterment of the family as a whole.

If we truly want to change after we become aware, that maybe our behavior is not normal. We need to get help. Counseling is a good start, and for those who are believers, we know God is our higher strength and in Him we trust. The Word of God is our strength as we know that it is Him who dwells in us. His words state, that we are cast our worries upon Him.

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you.

And Has given us a spirit of self-control;

2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  

We also know that God will strengthen us to endure all things and it’s for our well-being to change and it’s for our own good.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

God bless you, and I pray that you find what your looking for. Remember, God loves you, and so do I.

Gracie