Dealing with Anger

Dealing with Anger

Dealing with Anger.

Don’t yell at me!   Can’t you control yourself? Boy, you’re so hateful! Let it go! Don’t transfer your hate to me!  You’re so bitter! Don’t be a hater! Go – leave me alone!

We have heard these phrases in our lives one time or another.  It’s not something we desire nor like. However, when that moment of heated arguments the most hurting words are blurted out.  Thrown at us like darts… piercing the most inner part of our hearts, wounding us deeply.

While we try to remain in control – it becomes an explosion. Bang! By the time you realize it, those darting comments just seem to fly out of our mouths, then we think to ourselves,  “Gee… how can I say such ugly things to the person I love?”

Anger is such a harsh emotion.  How can we release such hate?  Well, the thing is, that as we are growing up… too many emotional situations occurred in our lives creating scars upon scars, and we don’t deal with the pain.   Throughout time, these scenarios become colored with mixed memories, events, and people.  As we grow up, our memories get mixed.  We run the event in our minds over and over … we created little episodes and we become the best movie directors of this short mini-series.  The only thing is, that we forget some of these things, they eventually become colored memories.  We begin to mix time frames and people in the wrong episodes.  By the time we know it… boom! We have so much rage in our hearts.

There was this lady who hated her brother so much and wasn’t able to forgive him.  There was a lot of fighting within the siblings. So, this lady wanted to forgive and forget the past, but couldn’t.  After years of sad crying episodes, she presented her pain before the Father in prayer.  She allowed the Holy Spirit to cleanse her heart.  During this process, the Lord showed her that He too was abused, and mistreated.  It so happened that he picked on her – she was his punching bag.  Her healing began the day she gave it over to the Lord for Inner Healing. She cried for months until she was completely delivered from all that pain and anger. Once this happened, she was then able to restore her relationship with her siblings.

Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Anger is a basic emotion, along with happiness, sadness, anxiety, and disgust. If we don’t deal with anger it stays buried in our hearts. Layers upon layers of anger stack-up in our hearts and as we get into emotional alterations – it explodes, and we are throwing those fiery darts at our loved ones.  Oh, so much pain. The pain that doesn’t go away.

There are a few things we must realize is that God is love.  The love we get from God can and will deliver us from the pain we have.  Deliverance is there for us.  We can be free from the pain, the anger. ( Ref. 1 John 4-8)


  • The Lord God states in Matthew 5:22  But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

So, while it’s okay to get angry, we are not to go to bed angry with our beloved family. We need to release that anger, the frustration, and any resentment.   In Ephesians 4:26 it states, “In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”    Makeup as soon as possible. Don’t allow your anger to grow.   Usually, it’s family and close friends who hurt you the most. Yet, this hurts the most because this is the people who love you.


  • Matthew 5:43-48 (Love your enemies) “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor  and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Do not allow people to get the best of you.  Gossip, kiss and tell, friendship betrayals, and co-workers work clicks are painful but remember they are not your close-knit family.  These are people who are acquaintances, and co-workers.  While you are in their circle due to work, volunteering, games, or other circumstances – these people are there one day and gone the next.  Some people make it their life goals to keep you within a distance.   Yet, we are to love our neighbor… and our enemies, but I have a secret for you.  Our enemies eventually will fade away.

So then…

James 1:19 (NIV)  My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.   This is good advice. If we stop and listen, we can avoid the explosions and our pain will not turn into anger.

To heal from the pains accumulated during the time, we must turn it over to Father so we can receive healing in our hearts.  We must humble ourselves – don’t become calloused, pray, and seek His face and He will heal our land (our bodies).  For we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, He dwells in us.  We are the land (as we came from the dust).

So, I leave you with this – 2 Chronicles 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land and Matthew 6: 14  For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Dealing with anger – do not go to bed angry.  Forgive the offender, discuss issues, and compromise.  Not everything will go your way, but learn not to become angry, hostile, or bitter.  Let it go, and tomorrow is a new day.

Pastor Gracie

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